Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Privacy

Privacy, at our house, is measured by mom and dad. You act responsible, no sneakiness, then you will be granted a degree of privacy.

Bailee had a slip a few months ago. She chose to lie and hide things from us. At this point, she is not granted very much privacy.

I read her emails, not everyday and not everyone, but I do go through and skim them every now and again. This is why I know her password, so I can get on whenever I have that feeling. You know that mom feeling that tells you that something is not right.

She also knows that I will and have looked through her notebooks. She really does not have a diary, but she has random notebooks she keeps. She sporadically writes in these. Not long after the above incident, I was looking through a few and found some things that I need to discuss with her.

She does not have a cell phone. She was given one, but it was a pay as you go phone. We told her we would not pay for more time and she really struggles to save money. It ran out of minutes very quickly.

My mom allowed me to have my privacy. She felt that I was a smart, young woman and did not need her looking over my shoulder. She was wrong, as she admits now.

Our children need us. They do not become teenagers and know everything, even though they think they do. They need us to help them see truth in the crazy world they are coming into. They need us to help them understand what they are think and feeling. How can you do that if you do not know what they are thinking and feeling?

Now, I want to clarify that Bailee knows I read her email and I look through her notebooks at time. I will tell her before I do it or as soon as I see her, if she happens to be gone. This is an agreement we have made. I want to also say that talking with your child is the most important thing you can do. You just have to know they are not going to tell you the whole story.

Just think of you as an adult, you respond the many things in your life in different ways. Hopefully, you are mature enough that you have learned to take things in stride. Your teenager has not. They will have a thousand different thoughts running through their minds and they could be regarding the same matter. We need to help clear the confusion.

The teenage years are wonderful years. If you allow them, your child's teenage years will change you as you help them grow and become the person God has destined them to be.

1 comment:

  1. Some helpful thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

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